Employee allows coworker with wheelchair user son to use his RV when needed, coworker flips out when he tells her she can't use the RV for her upcoming vacation: ‘Since then... I've been excluded from team lunches and group chats’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 2, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Sometimes, the nice things we do for our coworkers can bite us in the back when we need their compassion most. If you've gone out of your way for a coworker who can't seem to return the favor, or at least be grateful for your help or assistance in certain areas of their work or personal life, then you know how it feels to be disrespected.

Most of the time, kind acts of service and generosity are committed without expecting anything in return. However, you never think that your generosity will result in an ungrateful crash out. The employee in this story chooses to lend his RV to a coworker, whose son uses a wheelchair, whenever they need it. The reason the employee bought the RV in the first place was that it makes transporting his grandfather from place to place easier because he is also in a wheelchair. When the employee's coworker requests the RV for a vacation, the employee declines because their grandfather is visiting at the same time. What follows is nothing short of entitled and narcissistic behavior. 

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  • FREEDOM ELITE
    via Roadpass for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITAH for refusing to let my coworker borrow my RV for a family trip?"

    I (M32) recently moved to a small mountain town for work and have been living here for about a year and a half. I don't have family
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  • nearby, but my grandfather (M87) stays with me for several months each year. He uses a wheelchair, so I bought an RV
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  • and had it outfitted with accessibility features, a ramp, tie downs, and extra space for his medical gear.
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  • When my grandfather isn't visiting, the RV mostly stays parked unless I take it out for weekend hikes or errands that need more room.
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  • One of my coworkers, Jenna, has a son who's also wheelchair- bound. She and I became friendly over time, and when I learned they didn't have a vehicle that
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  • could transport him easily, I offered the RV when I wasn't using it. For over a year, it's been working out she borrows it occasionally for appointments or short trips.
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  • Last month, she asked to use the RV for a two week vacation to take her kids to a national park across the country. The timing
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  • didn't work for me, my grandfather is flying in right after they planned to leave, and I'd need the RV to pick him up from
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  • the airport and get him settled in. I asked if they could leave a few days later, but she said they already made plans and tickets were booked. I said I couldn't lend it out during that time.
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Since then, she's been cold to me at work, and a few other coworkers have taken her side. I've been excluded from team lunches and group chats. I even overheard someone call me selfish.
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  • Now I feel isolated and unsure if I overreacted. Should I have just let them borrow it?
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  • Free-Place-3930 NTA. That's ridiculous. Now you know who she really is. Don't ever loan it to her again. Work is not friends.
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  • skalliwag. So basically, all this time you thought she was your friend when in fact, she was just pretending to be your friend so she could use you for free use of your modified RV? NTA.
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  • Apprehensive_War9612 NTA Never lend her your vehicle again. She got too comfortable & started thinking she owned your RV. She made plans without asking you first. You were already too generous.
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  • If she continues to cause trouble for you at work, file a complaint with HR. If anyone calls you selfish tell them they are welcome yo provide her with a vehicle on their own dime. She is bu ying you.
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  • Born-Eggplant8313 No you shouldn't have let her borrow it! You didn't outfit it for her son, you outfitted it for your grandfather. While it's very nice and generous of you to let her use it sometimes, obviously your grandfather has first priority. I'll bet your co-workers have only heard half of the story, as well. You're absolutely NTA.
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  • bakerbearbtm NTAH, she should have talked to you about availability before booking the trip. It was presumptive and rode of her to assume you would accommodate her, particularly if you have made an effort in the past.
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  • Mother_Search3350 Jenna is an entitled and ungrateful AH.. She needs to get her own RV for her own child. You bought ant retrofitted that RV specifically for your grandfather.
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  • She does not get to comandeer it as and when she likes. Those other colleagues need to STFU and mind the business that pays them or pony up the cash and buy Jenna an RV and have it retrofitted for her son.
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  • At this point I would be going to HR and filing a complaint against her for creating a hostile work environment She was clearly never a friend, but a user who cosied up to you so she could get her hands on your RV
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  • Your number 1 priority is your grandfather. The RV belongs to you and isn't some community asset. Definitely NTAH
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terrible coworkers workplace-stories vacations entitled parents work coworkers parenting entitled people karma workplace reddit thread Reddit family vacation parents entitled people vacation
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